I wanted to start off a great week after an especially great weekend with everyone that I love. I felt better about all of my family relationships: my husband; my kids; my parents which includes my mother-in-law and my beautiful church family. They lifted my spirits on Sunday as did the Father, the Son and my new found friend and guidance counselor, the Holy Sprit. I listened and prayed for direction because as I said before, my profession no longer lifts me up spritually like it used to and I feel like it's doing no one any favors if I just stay there because it's safe.
I had a new perspective that is leading me towards a final decision just this afternoon. Once you've been told that it's all your fault that the company is failing and that you are always negative, it's a sure sign that you're no longer part of the team that it takes to be a success at anything. I know that my work has been suffering as has my health. Is it a coincidence? I think it might be. I don't want a job to be what kills me or even puts me out of the daily life that I have every right to enjoy as a child of God. But who decides this, a boss, a coworker or God?
I have listened to a boss that happens to be related by marriage belitlle me until I just can't take it anymore. I love him and honestly, part of my journey towards becoming a better Christian has been to pray for him. I can tell you that I cried one night in a Bible study class because I read the book of Proverbs and I was worried sick about him! Of course I gave no specific information to my class as to who I was speaking of, but I wanted their prayers too because I felt a sudden urgency to help him find his way back to God.
Today I have to say that I can only work on my relationships and do what's best for my family and those that I love that will accept me as I am. I admit fault in all things because we are not perfect and Jesus gave his life in order to keep the forgiveness coming for all of us and all we have to do is ask. I know I will survive and this will make me a stronger person no matter what the outcome.
I'm not sure how this will affect my recovery. I will definitely ask for help and prayers and hopefully get a sponsor to guide me through this! I will comment more on this as I figure out exactly what I am supposed to talk about and what is better left unsaid. I am no harm to anyone and probably not even myself. I just need a little help and I'm no longer afraid to ask for it. God will put people in your life at the right time and I have no doubt that this will all be okay. Keep the Faith!!!!
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