I had a list to work on that was supposed to be made of everyone and/or everything that I resent or that has caused harm to me. After all of these years, how do you even start a list like that? I knew there were some obvious entries to the list. This can even be institutions or places, not just people. I have been so passive all of my life, it's a struggle to bring up anything unpleasant let alone things that caused resentment or fear.
The strange thing was, when I started wrting, I couldn't stop! I thought it would be difficult to name names and then even get specific about things that happened that I didn't even know where still buried deep down in my soul somewhere. It's about feelings and even taking responsibilty for the resentment that I still feel. It's freeing when you can take all of these events and people and say outloud what happened and then let it go! I hope that this is the beginning of my recovery process and just maybe letting go of regrets from my past. I still tell myself that all of the things that happened to me (good and bad) were just God leading me to where I am today. I wouldn't trade my beautiful family for anything. I do thank God for answered and especially unanswered prayers. Life takes such a long time to actually make sense, but once it does, you should count your blessings every day!
